WTF World 4: Who Cares About The Royal Wedding and Hanson Singing MMMBop? A Human Cannonball Died and Anonymous Brings Down PSN Again (Maybe)

Well, my actual website is now fully operational. I assure you, it is quite deadly. A lot of the content from this blog has been copied over there already, not sure if I'll move the rest or not.

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Right now we have a couple of articles, weekly columns, bi weekly webcomic. Soon we'll have some videos up there too. So go there... go there now. Add it to your favorites. Share with your friends.

Please... I beg of you. For the love of all that is good, visit my site. Now back to the old and out of date blog you've somehow found:

Ok, remember how I said that I would follow Google Trends and then blog about them and it would be a fun way for me to keep up to date with current events and keep you informed about today’s hot topics? I was wrong.

The reason there hasn’t been a WTF World in the past few weeks is not just because I’ve been spending time being wrapped up in the Montreal Canadiens playoff run (Keep Calm and Carey On boys) and working on the more permanent home of this blog, it’s also because Google Trends have been like 90% about either Dancing With the Stars, American Idol and the Royal Wedding.

I see the problem now; I have it set to “United States”. Things are so much clearer. You want to know what’s really strange? I just changed my trend settings to the UK, and the Royal Wedding is trending less there than it is in the US, WTF America? Correct me if I’m wrong but there was a pretty big war in the late 1700s where the main point of it was for you guys to stop caring about England and the monarchy, something about independence? Ring a bell? Probably not: some 250 years later and the hot topic in the land of the free is what Cateherine Middleton will be wearing when she marries Prince William. Side note: Am I the only one that thinks Prince William is getting way bald for his age? He’s only 28.

So yeah, where does that leave us? Hanson performed on Dancing With the Stars last night. How is this news? Hanson singing MMMBop was terrible when the song was big in 1997, why is it news when they sing it 14 years later? I’m serious, I really want to know. Let’s put this in perspective: A band whose one major hit was 14 years ago played their one hit wonder on a show where Kirstie Alley and Ralph Macchio are in a dance competition. Like, it’s bad enough that this is happening in the first place, but it’s worse that this has resulted in millions of Americans searching for Hanson this morning. I’m pretty sure that “MMMBop” is probably going to get a pretty big iTunes boost today. Fuck you America.

So what is news then? Found it. Matt “The Manx” Cranch dies yesterday in England during a Human Cannonball stunt that went wrong (yep, I set Google trends to the UK while seeing if they cared about the Royal Wedding). The Manx climbed into his giant cannon and when it blasted him out the recoil from the thing apparently caused his safety net to collapse, so instead of landing in a safety net, he landed on the ground, and died later in hospital. Two weeks ago he was a bartender, last week he was a human cannonball, today he’s dead. He was 23. I’m not really sure if I like reading the UK news, it’s not about washed up celebrities, it’s about people dying after being shot out of cannons.

Finally, a news item that is close to my heart. The Playstation Network has been down for the past 4 days and when I last checked it was still “undergoing maintenance”. Sony has pointed the finger once again at everyone’s favorite group of hackers: Anonymous. Only this time, Anonymous (or at least, the AnonOps) is like “Hey Sony, it’s not us this time.” Which sort of makes sense and sort of doesn’t. So, Sony decided to take George “GeoHot” Hotz to court over jailbreaking the PS3, Anonymous got all up in arms and launched a denial of service campaign against users of the PSN. The problem here? They weren’t hurting Sony so much as they were hurting gamers and gamers are sort of “their people”. Anonymous (or again, I must stress, the AnonOps) saw the error in their ways and stopped the attacks until they could come up with a better way to hurt Sony.

Last Thursday, the same denial of service attacks started again, and as I mentioned, Anonymous denied knowledge of the attacks. The problem here? How could they deny it? It’s a group of anonymous hackers, to think that the head knows what each of the thousands of hands is doing is absurd. However, it certainly hit Sony where it hurt, with the launch of some huge games before the long weekend (new SOCOM, Mortal Kombat and… uh… a little game called Portal 2 that’s main selling point is a co-operative mode) having the PSN down for the past 4 days is a pretty big deal.

Here’s a conspiracy theory that’s been kicking around: Sony is letting this drag on on purpose. Why would they do this? Two very likely reasons that I can think of. One, it turns public opinion against Anonymous even further. Typically “the internet” (made up largely of gamers and geeks) rallies around the actions of the group (see: Anonymous vs. HB Gary, Anonymous defending WikiLeaks, or Anonymous defending the lovable Casey Heynes), but less so this time, even less so now that Anonymous is coming between them and their Portal 2. Reason two: What better way to push the launch of a pay service (ala X Box Live) than with promises of a “more secure and stable” PSN? Just sayin’... it could happen.

That’s it for today.
-K

Hanson image from TooMuchNews

Montreal Canadiens Cap Situation Next Year (2011)

Well, my actual website is now fully operational. I assure you, it is quite deadly. A lot of the content from this blog has been copied over there already, not sure if I'll move the rest or not.

www.9to5.cc

Right now we have a couple of articles, weekly columns, bi weekly webcomic. Soon we'll have some videos up there too. So go there... go there now. Add it to your favorites. Share with your friends.

Please... I beg of you. For the love of all that is good, visit my site. Now back to the old and out of date blog you've somehow found:

Slow day at work, looking at the Habs cap situation to pass the time. Last season, the cap went up by about 2 million dollars, Phoenix Coyotes notwithstanding, I think the league did just as well this year as last, so I'm going to pretend there will be another 2 million dollar bump, making next years cap (potentially) 61.4 million dollars.

Habs have 6 forwards, 2 D and 1 Goaltender under contract next year for 33.995 million, which leaves us with 27.4 million dollars to sign a new team. Players under contact next year are:

• Gomez, Cammy, Pleks, Gio, Moen and Eller for the forwards.
• Spacek and PK for D.
• Price between the pipes.

A friend of mine has suggested that we "Wade Redden" Gomez next year, which could free up an additional 7.4 million dollars in cap space... the only way this would happen is if the Habs locked up a similarly paid player (maybe a Brad Richards?), so that money is probably spent either way (though possibly for a more competent forward).

Working our way out from nets, we need to sign a backup, either resigning Auld, or another similarly aged experienced backup should not cost more than a million dollars, 26.4 million left in the bank and we have our two netminders.

D starts getting trickier. Some of our guys deserve raises, others need pay cuts (*cough cough Hamrlik cough cough*). I'll be honest, I don't like paying Spacek 3.8 at all, but I doubt any other NHL clubs would want him for that kind of money, so we're probably stuck with him.

Josh Gorges is one of my favorite defensively responsible D men in the league, but how much is that worth? Looking at a comparable (age and play style) players like Vlasic on the Sharks says a guy like Gorges is worth 3.8 million dollars, which I think is a little steep, but Gorges is probably looking for that kind of money, let's say an average of 3.5 for a good 3-4 years? 22.9 million left.

Markov is a stud, but he's getting old, and is VERY breakable it seems, if I could, I'd sign him for 6 million for 2 years (so cap hit of 3), that lets him earn maybe one more big contract before he retires (he'd be 33 at the end of the contract) and lets him do it on a team he's comfortable with. 19.9 million left.

I think we could keep Gill for the cash he's making now (2.25). 17.65 left.

And finally, I would give Wiz the same contract he had with the Isles: 3.25 million. Leaving a paltry 14.4 million on the cap with 6 defensemen on the roster:

• Spacek, Markov, Gill, Gorges, PK, Wiz. To be safe, we should knock another 1.5 million off the cap to account for a 7th or 8th D man in the system (Weber or Picard maybe? Especially with Weber as a possible winger, a bit of versatility never hurt). 12.9 million left on the spendable cap.

12.9 million dollars to sign 7 or 8 fowards is not a lot of money (well, sure, it's a tonne of money, but, not by NHL standards). But anyways, here's how I would spend it:

• AK46: His here and there play I think deserves a pay cut, but he may be worth resigning for about 2 million dollars IMO. 10.9 million left.
• Halpern: I would keep Halpern around for 750 k if he wants it. 10.15 left.
• Patches: I would easily give this kid a 3 million dollar contract, the way he lights up the Gomez and Gionta line is worth it I think. 7.15 left.
• Desharnais: Hasn't proven himself, but still earned a raise from his 550 k salary, I think he's worth about a million (I gave him a 100k raise over Lapierre's contract last year). 6.15 left.
• I think (hope) that we can resign both White and Darche for similarly priced contracts (maybe a slight raise, 750 k each?) 4.65 million on the cap left.

So here's the team:

Patches - Gomez - Gio
AK - Pleks - Cammy
Darche - Desharnais - Eller
White - Halpern - Moen
4.65 million to go after other forwards.

Gill - Subban
Gorges - Markov
Spacek - Wiz
1.5 million for other defensemen.

Price
Auld

I think I can live with that.